just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
