If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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