sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
