I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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