Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
