Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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