just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize