You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
