they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When are your genitals available?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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