New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
There's even glitter on my cock...
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