So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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