At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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