note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
