is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
