He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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