his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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