Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
