You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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