I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
