the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
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The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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