We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize