$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
