Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
