I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
