I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
