im gay
i know
yea but for you.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
