You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Randomize
