their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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