we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
