btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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