You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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