Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
