Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
