Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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