I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize