I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
