If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
