I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
