It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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