During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize