she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
