Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
