she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize