dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize