Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
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hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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