I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize