ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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