Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
