ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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