Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
