i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it was like eating out sand paper
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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