we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
