C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
