Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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