i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was born a porn star she said
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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