You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
