Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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