I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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