Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
