we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
