Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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