Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
